As an object of my fan adoration. Ah, the entertainment.

You have to love Suits, the TV series, and the parallel universe it creates. Someone on the internet called it shallow. Well, yeah, it isn’t Dostoyevsky, but who wants to read Russian literature all the time!?

See the Money Wanna Stay for Your Meal

Of course whether a TV series about a particular profession is entertaining depends a lot on how untruthfully and inaccurately it depicts that profession (apart from how truthfully and accurately, if applicable). Big giggle factor here.

In Suits, lawyering, nay, life, ever only consists of arguing with people. There’s hardly anything else to do. There isn’t much alone time either. If there is, it’s just so that someone else can enter the room the next moment. Cue Harvey sitting at his desk doing absolutely nothing as Donna steps in to give him today’s dressing-down.

There’s no ungrateful work such as drafting, vetting or, God forbid, research. I mean, there is, but it just gets done, you know. Usually overnight. Never by Harvey, the protagonist, but by unknown divisions of associates or paralegals, sometimes by Louis. In any event, invisibly. In rare cases Mike, the other protagonist, pulls out something in writing which he has prepared no one knows when. Miraculously, there’s never need for proof-reading.

Everybody Wanna Know How It Feel

Louis Litt, the oddball. There is no trace of emotional intelligence in him. He whines about everything, in particular about how useless his associates are and how shoddy their work is. And about how his peers treat him. But karma.

Louis, the bitter man. But is it any wonder, seeing how he gets punished every time he is truly kind to someone? (Ever noticed?) Nevertheless, he picks himself up, dusts himself off and goes on, learning his lesson on the way, albeit slowly. Not to overemphasise anything, but I consider Louis the series’ secret hero.

No EQ issues with Mike Ross. He’s not the complaining type. Neither is he a real lawyer… yet. When he does have to put pen to paper, he’ll make sure we know the work volume is half the size of Wikipedia. Because he has eidetic memory and can do things. But again: karma. And karma’s a bitch.

Suits real Jessica Pearson TV law legal attorneyDonna Paulsen and Rachel Zane are fabulous in how they deal with people and circumstances, each in her own way. Harvey Specter has mummy issues. Jessica Pearson, whether shes in the show or not, is an awe-inspiring goddess (sometimes ex machina, but isn’t this what goddesses do).

I’ll Even Eat a Bean Pie, I Don’t Mind

Back to a lawyer’s paper work. Whatever tangible output may surface occasionally, it’s never a lot. No document in the entire series is more than two pages, and each one easily fits into a blue folder that can be thrown into your opponent’s face at the conference table. Quod erat demonstrandum, because everything gets done verbally anyway. Including transactions.

Also, all talking ought to happen face to face. It gets done when you run into each other at the hot dog stand or on the roof. If you don’t meet anybody there, you may have to travel great distances, even if this means commuting between the city and Harvey’s home (the one with the spectacular view of that city) ten times a day. It doesn’t matter if all you have to say is I know what you’re up to, you won’t get away with this’ or ‘Okay, I’ll do it’ or ‘I apologise, Harvey. You were always right’. There is no desk work you have to get back to, remember?

Talking on the phone, while unavoidable at times, is frowned upon. There is no communication by way of e-mail or messenger. Because of this principle, there is no need for smart phones. Okay, there was one in season 5 but it was the exception to prove the rule. It was illegally owned by one of Mike’s fellow inmates so that Mike could contact Rachel from inside. As soon as Mike had done that, his fellow inmate blackmailed him with the messages. Prison life, adapt or die.

Ah, the excellent entertainment that is Suits. Best opening theme ever, too.